Of Nashes, Zuckerbergs, Gates and Jobs

I love reading and watching biographies. Specially those of people who have cracked it big time (well, there are not too many biographies of people who dont make it big ;) ). Yesterday night I saw the movie "The social network", which according to the the makers of the movie is the real story of the founding of Facebook - although Zuckerberg says he would have liked to be portrayed a bit less negative - and I was left wondering that there are so many things these Zuckerbergs & Jobs & Gates and for that matter the Nashes (A beautiful mind) have in common. To point out some of them

1. All lost in their own little world, little to do with what others think and do
2. All filled with passion to do what they like to do
3. All with tremendous confidence in the idea they wanted to bring to life
   
4. None with aspirations of money. None of them ran after the money, rather money came to them accompanying the satisfaction of doing what they really wanted to do
5. All having the vision and the capability of thinking big and looking beyond borders and boundaries
   

Time and again people come up and stand out among the crowd of millions. Time and again someone somewhere comes up with an idea that many have thought of but few had the courage to sit down and give it a try. Few had the dedication and the commitment to go forward with it and to believe that it might shape into something big or even something "working".

While we were busy worrying about where the stock market is going or where we would go for our next vacations or from where will our next salary cheque come from, someone somewhere was so busy giving shape to his dream that nothing else seemed to matter.

Dreams come true when you dare to pursue them, when you dare to sacrifice your comfort, your leisure, your life. When loosing a couple of years of your life seems so insignificant in front of the dream you want to realize that you dont even think twice before giving them up. We love to live in our zone of comfort, spending years after years doing which least interests us, saving for a "tomorrow" which will never come, investing in houses, in something we can call "ours" & among all this we forget to invest in us, in what we really want to do or at some point in life we really wanted to so, which now seems to be a lost dream.

Lots of things to change and lots of decisions to be made but I am glad to realize that it is never too late :)

That state of mind, yet again

Too many ambitions, too many things to do, too many plans in my minds, too much tiredness, too many self-expectations, too much of inspiration, too many role models to follow .. am going crazy, again.

The good news among all this is finally I've got a plan, or maybe a couple of them. Maybe it is only the rush of the moment or maybe the travel of the last two weeks is taking it's toll but I feel really drained of energy. I feel like going invisible and its that same feeling of restlessness and depression creeping in.

This existential crisis is nothing new but each time has a bigger magnitude. Every new idea intrigues me and I feel like jumping into it. Every higher level of existence seems so much satisfying that I feel myself useless at my own level. So much to do, so much to learn, so much to recuperate. I feel like running out of time or maybe I myself am running through the time without doing anything :) Feel like taking a break, but a break from what?

I need a cleanup ... need to trash old rotting ideas and rotting memories. Need to remove all the negativity and maybe, yet again, need some resolutions :)

Nahi rakhta dil mein kuch

Nahi rakhta dil mein kuch,
Rakhta hoon zubaan par,
samjhe na apne bhi kabhi.
Kah nahi sakta main kya,
sahtaa hoon chupa kar,
Ek aesi aadat hai meri


Raste na badle na badla jahan,
Phir kyon badalte kadam hain yahan

Wanted - Friends!!!

There are times in life when you need someone who can listen without having prejudices and can understand what really is going on inside you. Someone who doesnt question your decisions, rather tries to undertand why you did, what you did. Someone who doesnt laugh or make fun of things which dont make sense to the rest of the world but are perfectly logical for you. Someone who can tell you "I understand" and really does. Someone who can peek inside you and see the storm brewing, and instead of adding to the intensity can guide you safely towards the shore.

You have people around, but most of them have some reason or the other for not being the person you want them to be. There are women, who can listen to you and advise you, but you know that in reality they want something else, so you know its not worth talking. Then there are men, who are so lost in their own sense of masculinity and their own "higher" level of existence that talking to them is like loosing your self confidence.

I miss Aakash ... I miss Amit ... I miss my friend Amir ... I miss talking to them, I miss opening my heart in front of them, I miss explaining them how much they mean to me. At times when I feel alone, when I feel I need to talk to someone, when I feel I am being killed by all that I have in my mind, I find myself alone; being stared upon by hundreds of people as someone who has "changed", as someone who "is not the same", as someone who "doesnt appear like the person he really is", as a liar, as a cheater, as someone who cant be trusted upon.

I need friends ... anyone?

When you know

When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

When you feel in your skin in your bones and the hollow
Of your heart, there's no way you can wait till tomorrow.
When there isn't any doubt about it once you come this close
Cos you know and you know that you know.

You can feel love's around you like the sky 'round blue
This is how love has found you, now you know what to do.

When you know that you know who you need, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

Happy Birthday Pedro

Pedro was not able to understand what was happening; the place which had been his home for the past nine months was in a kind of a huge turmoil. The usual peace and calm seemed to have changed to some sort of abnormal restlessness; he could feel the jostling and the struggle. It was not long before he sensed that he was actually being forced out of his home. Unable to understand what was happening and why it was happening he closed his eyes and waited for peace to return; but that was not going to happen soon.

With a sudden gush of oddly smelling air, much different and lighter than what he was used to breathe, he felt someone holding his head with one hand and his arms by other and trying to pull him out. Totally amazed by the sudden change of surroundings and surprised by the new things he was able to see, Pedro felt helpless in the hands of a complete stranger. When he opened his eyes he could see a dozen unknown faces and a lady lying on a bed with tears and a smile at the same time on her pink sweaty face. While he was trying to understand what exactly has happened, someone pinched him hard on his stomach. “Ouch!!! My God” he screamed and couldn’t help himself from bursting into tears. While he was crying his lungs out he was surprised to see that his tears brought huge wide smiles on the faces of others.

Apart from the people present in the room, there was someone else smiling high above in the sky. He stared at the little kid and whispered with a grin on his face – Happy Birthday Pedro.

Marley and Me

If you think that this post is anything about the movie, then I'm sorry to disappoint you. Though the movie is the reason that it has been written, I am leaving it upon you to see how and what the movie actually is.

We never had pets. One of the reason being the belief of my father that he wont be able to accommodate one more animal in the house after me and my brother. Now that I am away from my family and maybe would be starting my own in a couple of years, I think whether I would be having one. I have always read, heard and even seen that pets bring a lot of joy and happiness into people's life and somehow manage to disturb the stagnancy which often creeps in monotonous lives. If I would really be ready to have one at some point in my life, is really a point with lot of ambiguity.

The one and only apparent reason which I can see stopping me to take that step would be the fear of loss. Against the advice of wise men, I often get attached to small things; living and non living. And when I loose them, I am not able to get over them for a long period of time. Though I have not experienced a loss of anything "living" till now, but the fact that the loss of a non-breathing object imparts such a pain inside me, really scares the hell out of me when I think about the former kind of loss. I know for sure that it would be heart breaking and maybe remain inside me for a long time. So to be safe and sure, I don't think I would take such a chance ever.

Well, life is a anything but predictable. Who knows one day a post comes up on this blog describing how much fun a pet has brought into my life. As of now, it seems a distant possibility. Whatever future has in store, I would always remember these lines from the movie (not the exact wordings) -

How many people in this world make you feel special? How many make you feel extraordinary? How many of them love you the way you are? A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.