An extra "Phera"

For those of you not informed about the rituals of a "Hindu" marriage, I will provide an introduction to just a small part of it, which is in context with what I am going to write after that.

In a Hindu marriage (you may say North-Indian or Brahmin, because I am not really informed about the rituals in other parts of the country, so excuse me if I am wrong ) during one of the rituals, the Bride and the Groom are supposed to make seven rounds of the holy fire in order to complete the seven important vows of married life. Each round is called a "Phera". So, in all, there are 7 Pheras. Now, let us come back to the topic.

In Alwar, Rajashtan, in all the 800 marriages which took place last month, the couples took 8 Pheras. The extra phera they took was for a noble purpose. The 8th Phera was taken as a vow against sex-determination tests and female foeticide. The trend was encouraged by an NGO and people willingly followed in all the community marriages.

I hope such initiatives will help us increase the ever worsening male to female sex ratio in the country and spread awareness among the people. I wonder why such things never make news.

The male psyche

I came across this survey in today's HT - Delhi edition. It came as a follow up to the ugly incident that happened on 1st Jan with a woman in Mumbai. Though responses to most of the questions depend on one's personal choice, but still there a couple of things I think, if avoided, can obviate most of the troubles. Again, it's only my personal opinion ... yours may differ :)

• A girl, coming out late from a bar, wearing a 'hot' dress, will always invite trouble. In any part of the world, in any society, conservative, open minded, whatever.
• A 'bar-going' woman, at least in Indian middle class society, can never command respect from men. Men will always treat and perceive such women as 'easily accessible'
• Its still time for the Indian society at least, to give 'equality' to women in the 'real' sense. People can preach equality in seminars, social gatherings and even in parliament for women rights, but still we are far away from even "accepting" an equal status for women.
• The male ego still plays a big role in most of the relationships, married or unmarried, & will continue to play till women keep on bowing to it. (Believe me, it still happens in 80% of the cases.)
• Men are the same, everywhere. They think the same 'crap' about women, everywhere. Same injustice happens to women, everywhere. (Read everywhere as India & Mexico)

And obviously, this is not a generalization of any sort. There are exceptions, and actually more than just 'exceptions'. But these are the traits which are prominently visible. Faults are there on both sides, faults in thoughts, traditions, in hundred other things.

Men command & demand a superiority in a relation. It may not be openly visible, but it will raise it's head, in some situation, at some point.

Women consider themselves "emotionally superior". Because they have the unquestionable advantage of being a 'mother'. Of being the creator and preserver of human life.

Anyways, this debate will never end. And all of us will favor one side or the other in different situations. I thought of writing much more, but will stop here. Maybe the rest will come later ;)