An extra "Phera"

For those of you not informed about the rituals of a "Hindu" marriage, I will provide an introduction to just a small part of it, which is in context with what I am going to write after that.

In a Hindu marriage (you may say North-Indian or Brahmin, because I am not really informed about the rituals in other parts of the country, so excuse me if I am wrong ) during one of the rituals, the Bride and the Groom are supposed to make seven rounds of the holy fire in order to complete the seven important vows of married life. Each round is called a "Phera". So, in all, there are 7 Pheras. Now, let us come back to the topic.

In Alwar, Rajashtan, in all the 800 marriages which took place last month, the couples took 8 Pheras. The extra phera they took was for a noble purpose. The 8th Phera was taken as a vow against sex-determination tests and female foeticide. The trend was encouraged by an NGO and people willingly followed in all the community marriages.

I hope such initiatives will help us increase the ever worsening male to female sex ratio in the country and spread awareness among the people. I wonder why such things never make news.

Death of "Appu Ghar"

I think most of us would have heard about the famous amusement park in Delhi, The Appu Ghar. I first heard about it when I traveled to Delhi for the first time at the age of 6. Then, I was able to catch only a glimpse of it from outside. I never managed to persuade my parents to take me inside. :) I still remember the excitement I felt when I saw it for the first time. The place seemed to be a dream world for me and I just wanted to "live" inside it.

I got my first chance to be there after a long gap of 7 years, when we moved to Delhi. Though I was much older now but the excitement was still young. I spent the whole day inside and quenched my long pending thirst. The place was nice and since my first time, I have been there at least 10 times more.

Today I was reminded of the place again when I read the newspaper. Appu ghar is going to be demolished, following the orders of the Supreme Court. The degradation of the place started when Metro Rail entered Delhi. They occupied a part of the premises for the construction of the Metro corridor. Now, they are taking it fully. The reason - Land is needed for construction of SC's lawyer's chamber and for expansion of Delhi Metro.

Appu ghar is not simply any other amusement park. It is a historical landmark. One of the oldest amusement parks in India. Named after the 1982 Asian games' mascot, it attracts scores of people each year. Most importantly for millions of people like me, it a something to be associated with.

Govt fully supports the court's decision and has not proposed any alternative site for shifting. It seems to be the end of the road for the 'only' and the one of the most 'loved' landmarks of the Indian capital. Maybe this is the price the city has to pay for the increased pace of development.

Asian games of 1982 led to its birth and Commonwealth games of 2010 is going to be the cause of its death, which surely will be a painful one.

The male psyche

I came across this survey in today's HT - Delhi edition. It came as a follow up to the ugly incident that happened on 1st Jan with a woman in Mumbai. Though responses to most of the questions depend on one's personal choice, but still there a couple of things I think, if avoided, can obviate most of the troubles. Again, it's only my personal opinion ... yours may differ :)

• A girl, coming out late from a bar, wearing a 'hot' dress, will always invite trouble. In any part of the world, in any society, conservative, open minded, whatever.
• A 'bar-going' woman, at least in Indian middle class society, can never command respect from men. Men will always treat and perceive such women as 'easily accessible'
• Its still time for the Indian society at least, to give 'equality' to women in the 'real' sense. People can preach equality in seminars, social gatherings and even in parliament for women rights, but still we are far away from even "accepting" an equal status for women.
• The male ego still plays a big role in most of the relationships, married or unmarried, & will continue to play till women keep on bowing to it. (Believe me, it still happens in 80% of the cases.)
• Men are the same, everywhere. They think the same 'crap' about women, everywhere. Same injustice happens to women, everywhere. (Read everywhere as India & Mexico)

And obviously, this is not a generalization of any sort. There are exceptions, and actually more than just 'exceptions'. But these are the traits which are prominently visible. Faults are there on both sides, faults in thoughts, traditions, in hundred other things.

Men command & demand a superiority in a relation. It may not be openly visible, but it will raise it's head, in some situation, at some point.

Women consider themselves "emotionally superior". Because they have the unquestionable advantage of being a 'mother'. Of being the creator and preserver of human life.

Anyways, this debate will never end. And all of us will favor one side or the other in different situations. I thought of writing much more, but will stop here. Maybe the rest will come later ;)

Of India & Indians

There is so much pride we Indians associate with our country. But you will be surprised to know the outlook of people who see the country from outside it’s borders. These people don’t belong to the uneducated or ignorant lot, but are those who hold masters degrees in finance, who are heading the entire finance departments of big firms, who listen to news daily and are well aware of the world-affairs. Just have a look at some comments I came across on my beloved country & some questions I had to answer, that too patiently.

• Are women allowed to touch anyone else other than their husband, father & brothers?
• You have only one brother?? I have heard that each family has 8-9 children in India.
• India is land of 1100 million people, who share water, bedroom & bathroom. But apart from this over-crowding, it is a nice place.
• The govt spends most of the money protecting cows, then some on protecting other animals and whatever is left, on humans.
• People have to often leave the country for better development (note the word) and to feed their many children.
• India has the largest film production in the world, because the government spends most of its funds on Bollywood instead of feeding it’s people.
• Indian people eat only twice a day, have unsafe s*x and beat their wives daily.