Excess leads to wastage

Last week my office was shifted to a new location outside the city. The duration of travel, which was previously five to ten minutes has now increased to 2 hours. Suddenly, I find myself scarce of time. But there is something very unusual which I have noticed wrt my daily routine. Previously, when I used to have hell lot of time, both at home and in office, most of time was spent either sleeping, or watch TV or if in office, hanging out in the cafeteria with other friends. But now I have to get into the cab early at 0630 in the morning and I reach office by 8. Then in the evening, I have to start from office at 1700. So during these 9 hours at office, I have to complete all my work, post some stupid blogs like this in between and do all the other official work. After reaching home at 1900, I have to spend 70 odd minutes at the gym, do the daily studies (which are not regular anyways), cook something for dinner and then sleep timely so that I can get up on time. In the midst of such a tight schedule I don’t have time to sit idle or waste it on petty things. I am utilizing my time much more effectively now. I find time to read in the newspaper (morning cab), to read some books (evening cab time), regularly going to the gym (its easier to be regular in the evenings) and a bit of studies too.
Hence from all this and many other examples from my life, I have learnt this lesson. The more we have, the more we tend to waste. When the water is plenty, we take 2 buckets to bathe, but when there is a scarcity, we can manage in half a bucket too. When we have plenty of food, we overeat or tend to waste it. But when its in shortage, we relish each and every bite. Same applies to time too. When we have plenty of it, we have time to feel bored, to be frustrated, to think about faaltu things which otherwise wont cross our mind. But when our day is packed, we tend to complete all tasks to perfection and also, we feel contended and complete at the end of the day. So all this hassle and busyness, which I got due to this shift in office location, has in a way come as a boon in disguise. I thank myself and my office for keeping me so so so busy.

Apna Sapna – Money Money

Why is money so important in life? No matter what we say, no matter how unworldly we consider our selves, no matter how detached we project ourselves from material bonding, all of us need “more” money. Till now, the extent to which money mattered in my life was that I needed it for eating out, going for movies & some occasional gifting. Everything else was taken care by my mom and dad. But now as I have got a tag of “Self proficient” pasted on my forehead, the entire headache is mine. Now I have to think about where and how much to spend. How I’ll manage my savings, where shall I invest, how to save tax and all other monetary crap. Also, most importantly I have started worrying about how much others are spending and earning. OMG, Aakash has got a bonus. Holy shit, Pradeep gets 10k as allowance every month, and the list goes on.

Is that really worth thinking? How does it matter who is earning how much? Will they give me something if they earn so much? Or will I start earning more if I keep on worrying bout their earnings? But we tend to think this way, no matter how much we denounce the thought. Money is one thing which is the source of around 75% of our daily quota of worrisome thoughts. (Remember that old saying? All the feuds in this world have two main causes – money & woman). Everyone is thinking how to earn more, save more and at the same time, to spend no less. Shall I put my money in Stocks … shall I invest it in gold … shall I put it in real estate … blah blah blah …

Its been 2 years now (Approx 21 salaries) since I’m earning, and to be absolutely honest, I haven’t invested even a single rupee anywhere. Maybe this financial wisdom has not dawning upon me yet. Waiting for the time I’ll start saving … for a better future. All this reminds me of one very funny quote “Saving policies ensure that u save your entire life, living miserly, so that eventually, you die rich”

Determination Determines

Daily we hear or read a lot of quotes which really inspire us. We like them, pin them up on the board, keep them as status on our messengers and then in a day or two, replace them with another good one. The first them gets gradually erased from our mind and finally we forget it completely. But the title of this post is a quote, to which I really gave some serious thought. “Determination Determines” – this is such a real truth. Determination and Discipline is what determines the outcome of most of our endeavors. If carefully thought, both these words are almost synonymous. They kind of co-exist. If one is there, the other will automatically come.

All this sounds so inspiring and correct, but only till its time to do some implementation. Once it comes to actions, we tend to succumb to our own temptations. Just for example, I’m trying to shed some weight for the past 4-5 years. One thing or the other always postponed my plans of joining a gym. In college it was the pressure of studies (only hypothetical) and my Dad’s refusal, which stopped me from going to that very much worshipped self proclaimed fitness temple. Now that finally I have enough money and some time too, l think its lack of determination and self discipline which is stopping me. For the past 3 months I’m religiously paying the 730 bucks but hardly attending the gym 20 days a month. Sometimes I’m too lazy to wake up in the morning, sometimes its office which creates an unavoidable situation & sometimes I end up too tired to do anything. Bit I really feel that if someone really wants to do something, no one can stop him from that. Then I’m forced to think that if I really lack determination?

Exactly like this very moment, every second day I fill up my heart with determination and decide that my life will change from tomorrow. But as they say .. Tomorrow never comes !!!!

Pressure, fear & uneasiness

Things have changed quite a lot in the past 2 years. I can see my life completely in contrast with what it used to be before. I have started feeling the pressure now. Pressure of being something in life, pressure of expectations of everyone, pressure to get married, pressure of working towards a happy future, pressure of initiating my savings plan and the list never ends. Why is 25 such an uncertain age? Why have I suddenly started feeling so uneasy about everything? These thoughts were there before too, these pressures are not at all new, and then why suddenly have I started feeling so insecure and vulnerable?

I am afraid of commitment, I’m afraid of the change marriage will bring into my life, I’m afraid of the idea that a thought of one more soul will get attached to all the decisions I’ll be making, I’m afraid of loosing my freedom, I’m afraid of putting my self into an endless cycle of giving explanations for all my actions, of justifying each and every decision of mine. I don’t think I’m ready for these things. I think I still need to achieve a lot before getting buried under all these responsibilities.

I blame God for all this. Why did he make me grow old so quickly? It was only yesterday when I was so happy with my friends in school and in the neighborhood, when I didn’t even care about these things. I don’t want to grow old any further. 25 is hell lot of years I have added into my life. I don’t want more.

My Passport Ordeal - Contd ...

My journey towards acquiring a passport hit yet another roadblock yesterday. I went to the passport office along with a reference of one of my friend's dad. The person whom i was supposed to meet told me to wait near the PRO's office till he comes there with my file, that was 1400 IST. Finally that guy turned at 1730 IST and took me to the PRO. The problem this time is the application that I filed at the Delhi office. All the formalities are over at the Chennai office, but they need this Delhi file to be closed before they can proceed with the matter here.
So i am again stuck in a deadlock. Maybe I have to travel to Delhi to get the matters sorted out. What I'm afraid of is, if i get an onsite opportunity in between then I'll miss a golden chance. Anyways things will happen only when they have to. I was a bit sad and frustrated yesterday but now I'm feeling much better. Was a bit sad and frustrated yesterday but I know being that way wont help. So back to my jolly self again, but the very thought of passport brings back a tinge of sadness in me. Lets see how much time it takes from now for me to happily put another post on my blog, titled "Finally i got it".

When I missed the chance

Last Thursday I was chatting with one of my dearest friends on net. It was nothing too prolonged or extended, rather only a simple hi-hello. He replied to some of my usual questions, (Howz the work going on? Whats new at ur end? Had ur food ?) and I did the same for some of his "usuals". Then suddenly he told me "Pratosh, please call me when you find time". He is not the sort of guy who will normally ask anyone to do that, so i thought there must be something serious he wants to discuss. I was sitting in office, a bit busy, so i told him that I'll surely call him later during the day. But among all the disturbances and distractions at office it somehow slipped off my mind that I have to call him. The day went past and I didn't call him. Next day I realized my mistake and gave him a call in the morning. I asked him what the matter was and was there something he wanted to discuss. He replied that there was nothing much important to tell, but only that he was feeling very low yesterday and wanted someone to talk, he asked me to call. This really came as a sad shock to me. My friend wanted to share his feelings with me when he was down & all i did was to forget to call him. I know that i have lost the moment. No matter what he tells now, it'd never be the same as it'd had been yesterday.
This really happens a lot with most if us. Just because we act a bit careless, just because we dont care to spare five mins to call someone, we don't find ourselves there when one of our loved ones needed us. When some of our dear friend wanted us to be there, to just lend a listening ear. In the end, we dont have anything but to repent and regret. Because we know that we have missed the moment, we have missed the chance. The chance to be there when our friend wanted us. After all, friendship is not only meant to share the happiness but the sorrows as well.