Avocado y Guacamole

Avocado is something I never heard of before I came to Mexico. My first personal encounter with the fruit was quite amazing. Before I start describing that, I want you to know what exactly an Avocado is.

Avocado or more commonly known as aguacate in the Spanish speaking world is a pear shaped fruit with an egg shaped seed at the center. I have seen two variants of the fruit – one with a hard outer inedible coating which has to be removed before you eat it & another with a thin blackish-purple skin which can be eaten along with the fruit. This fruit has a buttery texture similar to how a banana feels if you peel it and hold it in your hand (that slippery greasy touch). It is light green in color from inside and has a mild taste. See here for more details.

I have been eating this fruit almost as early as 2 months after I arrived to Mexico. The main source of it was the Taco shop just outside my office. The guy at the shop used to put it in my tacos. Also, I ate it in the form of Guacamole at the local restaurants but that started only since a couple of months back when I started eating Mexican food frequently. While living with my Indian friends I never experimented much in terms of food and always stuck to basic Indian cooking. But now that I got an independent apartment with more freedom in terms of choice and variety of cooking I decided to explore the available options. Including Avocado in my cooking was the first thing which crossed my mind. I bought a couple of them during one of my visits to the local super.

It was the first time I was buying Avocados & hence I had no idea how to choose them. I just bought three good looking “firm” fruits and came back home. I had seen the man at the Taco shop peeling and putting them in the food and hence I knew that the fruit was expected to be soft and creamy. But the ones I bought were firm and raw. So I thought that maybe I have to boil them before I eat. I boiled the poor little fruits for more than hour before I came to know thru one of my friends that it is only the ripened fruits that you have to buy and if you buy raw ones, you have to wait for a couple of days for them to get ready. To give a parallel, just imagine something like boiling a raw mango to make it ripe and yellow :)

I am totally in love with the fruit and its taste. I make sandwiches, guacamole, put it in chutneys and even eat them with my salads. Check out the videos below to catch a live glimpse of the fruit.

Avocado the fruit




The delicious Guacamole

A runner's paradise

Running is something which gives me a lot of mental satisfaction. I really enjoy running for long stretches and getting drenched in sweat. It somehow helps me get rid of my stress and other mental pressures apart from keeping me active.

So when I decided that I am going to continue with this passion of mine after I reached Puebla for my 4th trip of Mexico, I was faced with some disturbing little problems. First was a rather dangerous “canine” problem. Yeah, you read it right – canine. The first day when I set out of my house for a run, a huge furry white dog almost bit me on my leg. From that day onwards I was so watchful for dogs that I could hardly concentrate on my thoughts or on the running itself. The second main problem was the traffic. To avoid the dogs in the residential areas, I was running on the side-lanes of the main road and hence was confronted by fast and furious flow of traffic. So again, I had to be very careful about how and where I am keeping my steps. These things virtually sucked all the joy out of my running.

Yesterday when I stepped out again, I saw a huge football field with a nice racing track just across the road, at a distance of around 5 minutes by walk from my house. I have been eyeing it for long but since it was adjacent to a big school and I didn’t know the local language so that I could go and ask, I was avoiding entering the field. But this time somehow my legs automatically took me inside the campus.

I saw a couple of people standing there and I decided to go and talk to them. I approached them and asked “Hablar ingles??” they said, “No”. I knew it was no use waiting there to find for an English speaking guy. But before I would decide to quit, I thought of giving it another try. I saw another gentleman coming my way and I asked the same question to him. Hesitatingly, he replied, “Yes, por que”. I was happy. I said, “Una pregunta. Do I need a permission to enter this field and do some running?” He said “No! Its free”. I replied,” Muchas Gracias” and left the place.

The place was a real paradise for a runner - lush green football field surrounded with a contrasting red running track. I could run forever at that place if my body allows me to. I ran for about 30-35 minutes before coming to a grinding halt. It was getting dark and I had many things to do at home. I just took some pictures with my mobile and started walking towards my apartment.

I was so happy that I got such a nice place to run where I do not have to worry about life threatening traffic or perilous dog-bites.

Here are some photos

Good bye

I saw you standing at a distance,
And I knew it was you.
I saw you smiling at someone,
And I knew it was you.
I saw you hopping around like a butterfly,
And I knew it was you.
You didn´t even notice me staring at you,
But I knew it was you.

Then the day came when I met you
and saw deep into your eyes.
I couldnt help myself
but stare at that magical smile

Never realised I was falling in love
till I knew you were already engaged.
Each passing day was pain like hell
to see you showering love on someone else.
I saw you holding his hand,
I saw you waiting for him,
I saw you sleeping on his shoulder,
I saw you crying for him.

But I held my ground
till you knew that I Loved You,
I stood firm
till you believed that it was me.
I was there for you always
till you said you love me too.

It was magic then onwards
and we were playing in paradise.
Time flew like a bird
and we cruised happily through life.

Then the devil struck
and there were tears all around.
Hell had broken hard on us
and I knew you were gone.
It was never the same
as I realized what I had lost.
You never turned back to me
and I too was lost in my world.

Today I see you going again,
Far far away from anything we had.
Going to another world
Where there wont even be a trace of me.
I cant say if I am happy
neither can I say I am sad !!
I just feel I have lost something
Which actually I never had !!

- Anonymous

Give me the truth

Sometimes I try to give meaning to all this happening around me, or rather to all that I am doing. Each passing day adds a million more moments to my life, scores of more memories. Some of which will cling with me for a lifetime and some which will fade away sooner than I will ever realize. I am "living" this life each passing day.

Living - now that is an interesting thing to do. We live; through a hundred different things we do - by going to our job, by eating three times a day, by talking to our friends, by being with our family (lucky few), by having sex when we want to (applicable to yet fewer), by spending money on things we wish to have, by being happy in our loved ones' happiness, by being sad in their sorrow. Each of our lives is a sum of some or all of these sundry activities which supposedly define our life.

A week back we were in school, a couple of days earlier we were enjoying in college and it was only yesterday when we stepped in our first office. Time's running away so quickly. I cant slow it down even if I want to. Tomorrow, it will be time to get married; let someone else enter your personal space and scan through what all has happened with you till date and then ask questions. Then, spend a day explaining to her about things you don't even remember happened sometime in your life and before you can realize, the day is over and you are going to be a father. Then spend another week taking care of your children and suddenly when the weekend passes by you find yourself sitting in an armchair enjoying your retirement and reflecting upon the way you "lived" your life.

Why are you doing this? Why am "I" doing this? Why are we just moving around in this endless loop ? Just because an ideal man should do all this to be a part of the society, I too am obliged to follow it? Where am I in all this? Where does my opinion matter among all these rules and predefined structs of a civilized human society?

I see people lying in ruins on the sidewalks, I see others fixing a crappy nuclear deal somewhere, I see yet more being ruled by their spouses and yet managing to be "happy", and then some more fighting for packets of food standing in waist high flood waters. What? What are you doing? Why are you sleeping?

Dont give me this shit. Dont give me love, respect, emotions, money, relationships !! Dont give me tears, smiles, laughters, screams & moanings!! Dont give me dads, moms, uncles & cousins!! Dont give me Ram, Rahim or Jesus!!

Give me the truth. Yes !! Give me the truth.

Before I Die

There are a couple of things I wish to do before I close my eyes forever. There is no laminated list as such, but if I start thinking, the following points would make a rough list

• Graffiti
• River rafting
• Rock climbing
• Camping alone in the wild
• Grow long hair
• Drive a car
• See Ireland

And last but not the least, know this damn ducker of a person called Pratosh Dwivedi.

MY family

I miss my family & maybe that's the reason I came back to this blog after more than 3 months.

To be honest, I really don't remember when I last even felt like missing them in the 3 odd years since I left my home. It was back in June'05 when I finished my college and went out for a job in Chennai. I've spent not more than 3 months with them in the past 3 years & amazingly, I never felt or regretted that.

It was the excitement of school for 12 years which always used to make me wait eagerly for the Sundays to get over. Which made me brood over the idea of going out somewhere lest I miss my school. Then it was the craze of 4 years of college; the newly found freedom, newly born thoughts & newly born relationships. After college it was the new job, which came with the pleasure of money and a "personal" space amongst all the social mess of course. I didn't even realize how naturally I took "them" for granted or to be blunt, how simply I ignored "them".

Now I see people, I see parents with their children, I see cousins having fun together, I see families going out for vacations, I see Dads giving advices to their daughters, I see Moms caring about their sons & then a sudden sense of emptiness sinks in. Where has my family been all this time? Or where have I been for so long?

I don't care to call home at night cauz its too late & I'll feel sleepy in office the next day. Or its too early in the morning & I will get late for office. Then after a week when I somehow manage to make a call & that too after my Dad tells me that "Dont get your Mom worried, call her once in a while", my Mom tells me that she knew I would be busy with work and she's happy I could manage to call.

I have grown up. I am moving towards my goals. I am aspiring for success. I am following my hobbies. I am earning good money. I am visiting places. I am eating in nice restaurants. I am wearing branded clothes. I am almost half way through my life. I miss my Mom. I miss my Dad. I miss my grandparents. I miss fighting with my brother. I am writing crap ?

Me, Myself & Lufthansa

Date – 12^th Mar’08
Place – Chennai, India
Characters involved – Me, Sonu (My roommate), LTA - Lufthansa ticketing agent, LFM - Lufthansa flight manager, Mohan – from my company's travel desk

Me – Sonu, its already 8:30 man, lets go and have dinner, otherwise I will get late.
Sonu – Bhaiyya!! Your flight is at 1:45 AM, so relax. It won’t leave without you.
Me – Yes man, I know that, but still I always prefer being at the airport at least 2 hours in advance, in case something goes wrong.
Sonu – OK, we’ll just go and have dinner & then you can leave

As we started for dinner, I got the call from the cab driver asking me the exact location of the place. I somehow explained him the way, since he didn’t know English & I had intense problems in speaking Tamil. As we started walking towards the restaurant, it started raining. By the time we finished our dinner, it was pouring down heavily. We somehow managed to reach back home in time and get into the taxi. Since it was late at night and once I go inside the checking area I can’t meet anyone, I told Sonu to stay back and wished him goodbye.

I reached the airport around 10:30 PM. Got my luggage checked and stood in the queue for checking in. Since I was early, in hardly 5 minutes, I found myself facing the guy on the counter.

LTA – Sir, can I have your passport and booking reference please?
Me – Yeah sure (Handed over both the things with a smile)
LTA – Please keep your luggage on the platform for weighing

(At this point I was a bit apprehensive as I expected my luggage to be a few kilos heavier than allowed. But having prior flying experience through the same airline, I expected it to go smooth. Suddenly, my thought process was broken by the LTA’s voice)

LTA – Sir, your luggage is above the permissible weight, you have to pay taxes if you want to carry all of this.
Me – Ok, by how much is it exceeding the limit? How much do I have to pay?

(Expecting a figure of some 4-5 kilos, I thought I will talk it over. But I was totally rattled by his reply)

LTA – Sir, it is 30 Kgs above the limit and you have to pay a sum of Rs 75,000 INR.

(At first I couldn’t believe what I heard, but then I thought he has made some mistake and I should explain)

Me – The weight limit for the check-in luggage is 23 Kgs per piece right? And I am allowed two pieces.
LTA – No Sir, for all flights going to North America via Europe, the total weight of the luggage allowed per passenger is 20 Kgs
Me – Boss !! This is the third time I am having this trip & I this is my 5^th check-in at your counter. When did the baggage rules change?
LTA – Sir, the baggage rules are the same for the past 3 years. There is certainly some confusion here. You can see on your e-ticket, it is clearly mentioned - 20Kgs per passenger

(To my horror, it was indeed mentioned below the flight details. “Have I been ignoring this all the time I was going to Mexico? Ok, even if I ignored, how did these people allow me?” Seeing my blank white face & the long queue formed behind me, he spoke again -)

LTA – Sir, people are waiting. If you have any problems with this, I will suggest that you talk to our flight manager.

(I nodded my head in consent & he called for someone from the back-office. I unloaded my luggage from the platform, put it back on the trolley and started walking away from there, with an embarrassed face. People standing in the queue were staring at me, as if I just broke some international-flying-law. The flight manager appeared in a moment with a big walkie-talkie in her hand. By seeing her face itself I knew she would be a tough nut)

LFM – How can I help you Sir?
Me – Maam, this is my third trip from India to Mexico & suddenly your people are telling me that I can carry only half the amount of what I have carried on all my trips.
LFM – Sorry Sir, but our rules are the same for the past 3 years. I am sure some confusion has happened on your side. As you can see, the same thing is clearly mentioned on your ticket.

(I knew that I have already lost the battle, but I still tried to convince that lady giving all sort of arguments. But as I estimated from the first glance, she was totally “un-negotiable”. I called up the travel desk at my company who told they will try to help but it may take some time. As there was hardly an hour left for the last check-in, I decided to do the inevitable. I called my room mate and told him to come to the airport)

Me – Sonu, I am stuck in thick soup, please take the bike and come here ASAP. I don’t have time.
Sonu – Why? What happened suddenly?
Me – No time for reciting the whole Ramayana right now, I have to return half my things, you come here quickly.
Sonu – Ok, don’t worry. I will be there in 30 minutes.

My face was red like an apple. I felt as if all the blood has come and collected inside my head. I was not able to understand what to do. How will I do away with half the stuff? How will I reduce the total weight to 20 Kgs? After a couple of minutes, I realized there is no way out & I have to go ahead with this. I took a deep breath and found a small place at the middle of the hall to do the re-packing. I laid down both my luggage & opened them. The only thing to me relief at that time was the fact that I had distributed things evenly between the two pieces of luggage. So I just opened them and put all the stuff I had to return in one luggage.
A pair of formal shoes, a pair of sports shoes, shampoo bottle, cosmetics, books, some casual clothes, and all other things I thought I could manage without. I took out some books and kept them in my cabin baggage. Finally I re-packed everything and started looking for Sonu. In another 10 mins I got a call from him telling that he is waiting at the entrance. I got up, picked my luggage and as I was about to take the first step, all the stuff from my cabin baggage came out and got scattered all around me. Gosh!! I forgot to close it. I could feel the staring eyes around me. I somehow stuffed everything inside only to find an African woman photographing me sitting in the midst of the mess. I ignored her and walked towards Sonu. Handed over the luggage to him and gave sincere thanks. Then I walked back towards the counter and checked in what all was left with me.

My luggage was still around 10 Kgs above the limit, but being a witness to what I went thru during the past 1 hour, the LTA didn’t utter a word and handed me the boarding pass. I proceeded for emigration with the” how-I-am-going-to-manage-with-so-little-stuff” thought lingering in my mind. As I was standing in the emigration queue, the guy from travel desk called up.

Mohan – Pratosh, just now the Lufthansa people told me that you have checked in. So I suppose it’s not a problem now.
Me – Yes Mohan, I sent by half my stuff & I don’t even know what all I have with me. So I too suppose that it really isn’t a problem right now.

He sensed the frustration in my voice and decided to cut the call after a brief wish-u-a-happy-journey conversation. I passed through the emigration and final security just to reach the terminal in time for the boarding call.

Lufthansa – There is no better way to fly

Tere bina

Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa, to nahi, shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi
Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin, zindagi, to nahi, zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi
Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa, to nahi

Kaash aisa ho tere qadmo se, chun ke manzil chale aur kahi door kahi - 2
Tum gar saath ho, manzilo ki kami to nahi
Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa, to nahi

Jee mein aata hai, tere daaman mein, sar jhuka ke ham rote rahe, rote rahe - 2
Teri bhi aankho mein, aansuo ki nami to nahi

Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa, to nahi,
shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi
Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin, zindagi, to nahi,
zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi

Tum jo keh do to aaj ki raat, chaand doobega nahi, raat ko rok lo -2
Raat ki baat hai, aur zindagi baaki to nahi

Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa, to nahi,
shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi
Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin, zindagi, to nahi,



zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi

I dont wanna be a punching bag

Imagine yourself being constantly in the line of fire. Everyone around you seems to just shout at you, for no apparent reason. Each and every move of yours is kept under the microscope and you are criticized at all possible instances. You develop such a feeling of apprehension, that when you are not alone, you feel like being a part of a play, acting on stage, with a big audience watching you closely and you having that feeling of nervousness in your gut which constantly pricks you not to go wrong anytime during your act. Because you know, the moment you falter, the audience is either going to laugh or make some shrewd comment and you are going to be the punching bag.

Fundamentally, one can react in two different ways when presented with such a situation. The first one, which is widely preached and often the least practiced, is to be calm and let the dogs bark. You are told to ignore these filthy creatures around you and keep yourself calm and composed. Concentrate inwards rather than falling into the trap of this hostility around you. As Mr. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi once told, if the enemy slaps you on one cheek you present the other one in front of him. But at the same time, as Munnabhai told, you really don’t understand what to do when the enemy slaps on the other one too. According to me, there is a limit until which you can exhibit such a behavior. No one can keep on being calm when posed with such a situation without suppressing his self respect. Somewhere he will curse himself for being quiet when others were poking him unprovoked.

The other way, one which is widely practiced, is to hit back. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth doesn’t matter if you leave half the world blind. Because it’s important to make the other person realize how exactly you feel when the same is inflicted upon you. He needs to taste his own medicine. He needs to realize that he just can’t keep on trampling you, as if you were some weak little puppy, at whom any bullish dog can just keep on barking. And supposedly, this boosts your confidence and induces a feeling of superior self respect.

However one may react to such a situation, what goes beyond my understanding is why do people behave this way? What pleasure do they get in unnecessarily condemning and keep on poking other people, who rarely do the same to them? Is it a result of weak self confidence in them which is making them to become aggressive for the sake of their own defense? Or is it because they themselves feel inferior in some way & to overcome that feeling they want to suppress their so called opponent in any possible way?

Apart from the occasional anger and disgust, mostly I feel pity for such people. They just can’t realize how much they are loosing by being like this. Maybe they are happy and contended in their own small world, but on the whole they are just living inside a box. They can’t see the happiness and pleasure one gets by being in harmony with people around him.

Deep within me

The controversy of Amir Khan naming his dog as “Shahrukh” was splashed all over the internet, which incidentally led me to Amir’s (Amir Khan) blog. While I was going thru the blog, many things struck my mind. I’ll list down some prominent ones

• The blog was real nicely presented, obviously the work of some well paid web designer :)
• It was constantly updated and had links to some previous blogs of the author, which showed his interest in penning down his thoughts publicly.
• If you go to the comments section of the posts, for example the latest post on his blog, you can see a flood of comments posted by the users (6500+ in the last one). Though it is quite obvious that a popular actor like him will definitely attract such an attention, but what is noticeable here is, he is quite regular in replying to the comments. The content and the tone of the comments don’t seem to affect Amir’s responses at all. He replies to all of them in a pretty cool way. Given his tight schedule, I really wonder how he manages to regularly reply to all the comments.

Now coming to the real point, what the blog really sparked inside me was, if Amir Khan who has such a tight working schedule, can take out time to cater to his blogging needs, why a person like me, who is having a much less busy life than his, manages to post only 3-4 posts a month, keeping my writing and blogging passion in the background. Another very strange thing, which I think after seeing every successful person, I thought, was – will I be able to command so much popularity ever in my life?

Keeping Amir Khan aside, giving him the additional benefit of being in showbiz, there are thousands of other people I see and hear about, whose success story triggers a train of thoughts in my mind. I really wonder when I would be able to start one of my own. I remember one incident during my Hexaware corporate training in Pollachi, which I would like to mention here.
It was a soft skill session of “Goal setting”. The lady conducting the session put a question in front of everyone – “What is your goal in life?” Most of the people sitting in the class were quiet, not knowing what to say. A couple of them stood up and presented their dreams of owning a company one day or being a successful entrepreneur. I decided to declare mine. I stood up and told “I want to do something which will make people remember me for a lifetime & long after I am gone”. It sounded very bookish and sort of inspired from a politician’s speech, but believe me, I meant each and every word of it. She was quiet for a moment and then asked me to come to the front near the white board. She told me to write what I said on the board. The next question she asked me was, “How do you think you are going to achieve it?” That was the question I had no answer to. Then she explained how to achieve your goals by breaking them down into smaller ones, achieving whom will eventually lead to the ultimate aim of yours.

The problem in hand right now is, my goals and my course of action are diverging in two opposite directions. Appearing for Civil services and becoming an IAS will probably set me on a path towards what I really want. But abandoning my present job and loosing out on the big buck I am getting doesn’t seem to be a wise decision either. I know I need the money, but at the same time I know that there is much more than just money that I need.

Is it only me or do we all have this dilemma in our mind? Has anyone of you ever felt the same way? Had an urge to do something so big that the whole world knows you? To break away from the shackles of this silly “Groundhog Day” like life and do something to rock the whole world? At the same time not able to understand what exactly to do and from where to start with?

Sometimes I feel that maybe deep within me, I have the answers to these questions, but I just don’t have the courage to go ahead and do it. Anyone remembers those words from Chris Gardener in the movie Pursuit of HappYness?

Don't ever let somebody tell you.. You can't do something. Not even me. All right?
You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do something' themselves, they wanna tell you, you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it.

Maybe, I AM careless

Though I’ve been tagged of being careless for a long time now, but only recently I have started realizing that it might actually be true. The reason for this, I suppose, is that my luck has stopped favoring me now.

My luck was so much attached to me that I had started taking it for granted. A few examples for this would be:

• Many times I left the key plugged into my bike for the whole night while my bike was standing outside my house only to find it again safe at it’s place in the morning.
• Many times I have left the registration and ownership documents of my bike at places where no one can expect to find them again, only to retrieve them safely.
• I have left my watch & wallet and all imaginable places but never did I lose them till date.

But now I have started realizing that maybe I need to be more careful with myself and with the things I do. A few things which made me think around this point are

• I cut my thumb deeply a couple of days back, while chopping onions.
• The other day, I spilled the glass of juice all over the dining table to the discomfort of me and others seated around.
• I dropped a big meat chopping knife almost on my foot and was lucky to get away with it.
• I spilled a pan filled with oil on the kitchen slab, cauz I though that the pan is empty and just swung it in the air while picking it up.
• At the greatest of all, I lost my camera a couple of days back.

I hate it when people call me careless. I find it too much insulting to bear & accept. Also, I hate it when people see me with accusing and blaming eyes when I do something careless. Most of the times when I’m accused of it, I become highly defensive and give all types of arguments in my favor. But after the loss of my camera, I really have started thinking that something is wrong with me. I certainly need to be more careful with how I am handling things and be a bit more vigilant with things happening around me. But this thought has started creating a sense of nervousness now. Each time I leave my seat or de-board a bus I get a chill down my spine, as if I left something behind. I start checking if everything is there, my wallet, cell-phone, watch. It is as if I have lost all confidence in myself, the confidence of keeping things safe.

It sounds stupid and silly, but it really is happening. In an effort to get rid of my carelessness, I am inducing a hint of freakish behavior inside me. I hope I get over this soon.

I lost it

Last Saturday, I lost my camera. Many would think why it deserves a blog post, but I really need to pen this down as it a BIG loss to me.

As people who are close to me would know, my camera was very important for me and it was something I can’t imagine living without. I used to carry it everywhere, during outings, while going for a walk, while going for shopping to the local supermarket. Now I miss it. I miss it more than I have missed any other thing I ever lost. I curse myself for my carelessness but there is little I can do now.

It happened last weekend when I went for a party. We were waiting on the roadside for some friends to arrive when I kept my camera next to me on the pavement where we were sitting. Later when we got up and started walking towards the place, I realized I don’t have the camera with me. I ran back towards the place where we were sitting, but it was too late. In an interval of 1 minute, someone had taken it. Being a busy sidewalk, I lost all hopes of running and finding the person who took it.

I was totally lost, not able to think what exactly has happened. I didn’t want to spoil the evening of others so I just walked towards the disco with a blank mind. I couldn’t believe what has happened and the feeling of the loss was still to sink in. I couldn’t enjoy even a bit at the disco and somehow managed to do away with the night.

Now that it has been 3 days since it happened, the thing has finally got into my mind. I know my camera is no longer with me. I know I can get a new one, but I can never get the same one back. I’ve had such a nice time with it, taking photos of every imaginable thing. It has been the life of my image blog & now that it is gone, I don’t know how I will manage without it.

My Sony DSC H2 – 17^th Oct’07 to 17^th May’08

Access denied

A toilet is one place in this world where people can move in and out freely, no matter where it is. Be it a restaurant, an airport, your office, or any other public place, “paid-toilets” being an exception, no one will stop you from using the place. Even a stranger will allow you to come and pee in his/her toilet if there is an absolute emergency and nowhere to go.

But things are astonishingly different in my office here in Mexico City. On my first day in office, I had an urgent nature’s call, when I found myself struggling to open the toilet door. It just won’t open. Then I thought that maybe the toilet on this floor is not functional, so I will try the one on the next floor. But it was the same story at each floor. Under such a “pressurized” situation, I can’t even go and ask someone, as people don’t understand English. Also, it would have been quite embarrassing to ask someone in sign language that “Boss!! Why this darn gate doesn’t open? I have to pee!!!”

Finally after an hour’s wait some of my Indian colleagues arrived and from them I came to know that the toilets have been locked. Each employee of the bank has been given a separate key to the toilet. It is just like giving an access card. For a single lock, they have made around 400+ keys and distributed them among the employees.

What stupid concept is this? No one is going to come from outside the bank just to use the toilet, that too when you have a big private building with access controls everywhere. Neither have you engraved your toilet pots with precious stones, so that someone will come and steal them. You have an ordinary toilet, which most of the people will use for normal purposes only. What is the need of doing this stupidity?

On that very day I made sure I have a key to that “protected & confidential zone” so that I don’t have to wait for ages before I can do something that I used to do at my will at other places.

Freaky coincidence

OK, another one for the fight experiences this time. This is a freaky coincidence which is happening with me right from the time I took my first flight. And its not that it happens only 3 out of 5 times, rather the probability of occurrence is 1, i.e. no longer it is a probability, and rather it has become a certainty. I know it would be hard to believe, but you have to.

Each time I travel by air, the seat next to me is always empty. I’ve been on approximately 8 domestic and 10 international flights till date and never have I been sitting next to an occupied seat. The height was reached when I was returning to India from Frankfurt last January. I was told at the ticketing counter that they cannot allot me a seat as the flight is overbooked and it is advisable to reach the boarding gate early so as to get the boarding pass without any problems. The word “over-booked” itself tells you that there are too many people to travel on the same flight. Yet, to my what-the-hell-is-this surprise, when I boarded the flight, the next seat was empty.

I don’t know what the reason is; as there can’t be any. It is just a weird thing which keeps on happening to me each time I fly. I will definitely publish at “counter-post” once I meet with an exception to this.

I'm gonna win

Dark is the night
I can battle the storm
Never say die
I've been down this road before
I'll never quit
I'll never lay down,
See I promised myself that I'd never let me down

I'll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I'll never fail
I'll just get up and try again

Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There's much too much at stake
Upon myself I must depend
I'm not looking for place ashore
I'm gonna win

I'll stop at nothing
There's still a ways to go, oh
Someway, somehow
Whatever it takes, I know
I'll never quit, no no
I'll never go down, mm, mm
I'll make sure they remember my name
A hundred years from now

When it's all said and done
My once in a lifetime will be back again
Now is the time
To take a stand
Here is my chance
That's why I...

I'm gonna win

(Courtesy - Men of honor)

The missing 'I'

I got my boarding pass for my connecting flight from Frankfurt to Mexico at Chennai itself. I had a look and both the boarding passes in my hand, just to see where I'm gonna sit, cauz I had requested for an aisle seat. For the first flight the seat was 51D & for the second one it was 49K. Given that there are a total of 10 seats in a row in the economy class of a Lufthansa Boing (some model) plane, I got that for the first flight the seat is actually an aisle seat. A, B, C & then D ... ok its an aisle seat. Now I started counting for the second flight. A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I & then J. That sums up to 10. But the seat allotted to me as 49K. How is this possible? I counted the sequence again in my head, at least 3 more times, just to be sure. But each time, to my surprise, it ended at J.

I thought of going back to the counter and asking the guy if there was some mistake. But then I thought maybe this is the row at the end or something where they do actually have an "K" labeled seat. I got into my first flight and thought of searching for 49K before finding out my actual seat. As I boarded the plane and reached the economy class, I realized that they don't actually have an "I" seat. The sequence is - A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,J & then K. The "I" was missing. I had been traveling by the same airline, by the same plane, for the past 8 times. I was amazed that how come I never noticed this before.

Did anyone of you know about this missing "I"? Is it only in Lufthansa or they ate it up in other airlines too?

Innovative cooking

I went out with some friends in the morning and returned pretty much at lunch time. Tired from the whole roaming around and my stomach screaming for some food, I really wasn't in a mood to do some time consuming cooking. Being a Good Friday, the shops were closed for the holiday and I couldn't order something from the nearby Subway too. So all I had was hardly 10 minutes to figure out what edible can I make out of the things I have in the fridge. Given the limited resources which would qualify for a quick meal, I made up this - Steaming corn with scrambled eggs.

Recipe (Serves 2, if I'm not one of them)
Eggs - 2
American corn kernels - 200gms
Green chilies - 2
Lemon - 1
Black pepper powder
Butter - 1 spoon
Onions - 1

Boil the corn kernels and mix the butter & lemon juice in it. Fry the chopped onions and chopped chilies in a separate frying pan. When the onions are brown, break the eggs and pour them into the pan to make a mess. Once the scrambled eggs are ready, add the pre-prepared (sounds inappropriate, but who cares) corn to the pan. Cook for 10 minutes. Add some ketchup and salt to taste. Serve steaming hot along with some orange juice & pickle.

So, I did all this and had a heart warming meal. It came out really delicious I tell you. Hunger does lead to innovation.

P.S - By the time I took this photo, it went cold, so I had to heat it up again in the microwave :)

Loupe

There is a small Taco shop outside my erstwhile office in Volkswagen. Given its vicinity to the office and the nice quality of food that it provides, you can see long queues standing outside this roadside stall at lunch time. Though being a vegetarian, I wasn’t able to savor most of the things served at the place; I was a regular customer, having something he prepared exclusively for me; Tacos filled with rice potatoes, chilies & beans.

Coming back to the subject, “Loupe” is the guy who owns this shop. Majority of people in Mexico don’t know English. Even many people who are working for big banks & are at considerably high positions face much difficulty speaking in English. But to my surprise, Loupe was more fluent in English than any other Mexican I have met till date. My project manager in Mexico also speaks good English, but he too wasn’t any match to Loupe. This was the fact which made me so comfortable going and having food at the place. Because I was sure that he would understand what exactly I need. There was something in his appearance which made me have a sense of familiarity with him. Though I never talked much to him, given his busy work conditions, we knew each other well due to my daily visits at the place.

He was so prompt in his work, that you could actually see the difference when he was not around. While he took hardly 10 minutes to serve to a queue of 10+ people, his assistant who would fill up for him in his absence would make you wait for ages. Given the liking for the food and the server too, my last day in Volkswagen was not that pleasant. I knew I wont be coming here any longer to have this food or to meet this guy. So, after the peak business time, I went and talked to him. I asked him for a photograph for which he readily agreed. I wanted to give something to him, just as a memento. Giving money seemed very impersonal to me. After a lot of thinking, I took out a 50 rupee note from my pocket (An Indian currency note) and handed over to him. I told him. “This is for you & it is from India”. He gave me a nice smile and accepted my gift. I too was content in giving him something which will hold some value and will be peculiarly related to me.

Its been around 3 months since this happened. I wanted to post this for a long time but never got enough time. Now that I am back in Mexico, I am planning to go to Puebla and meet him again and of course taste those Tacos once again.

You can see him at this post on my image blog.

The selfish self

Some philosophers have declared selfishness as a righteous virtue for a person to possess. They say that selfishness is compulsory for a man to survive in the society. Closely thought, it sounds almost true. Each one of us is selfish in some respect. At one point or the other, we keep our interest and happiness at the top and then weigh everything against it. It happens so naturally that we barely realize it. One such example of being selfish is “falling to your temptations”

We might not pay heed to our religious scriptures since we are now living in a modern society, but somehow lately, I have started seeing a lot of relevance in things which I have read somewhere in some religious text. The most striking example of them all is the shloka (verse) in Geeta where Lord Krishna exemplifies the human life as a chariot of horses with the horses signifying the senses. He tells Arjuna that the greatest virtue which a man needs to possess in order to actually have a life is to keep in control the horses of this chariot, which incidentally is the hardest thing to do. The person who has control over his senses has control over everything in his life.

I often find myself falling to my temptations. I just give up to my needs, which in the present context symbolizes both selfishness & lack of self control. Its not that I always regret doing that but the regret somehow surfaces at a later stage. These temptations come in various different forms, some of them so petty that you will hardly see them as one. But in the end I know that I just couldn’t resist the urge. This is actually the time to pull the reigns of the horses. To keep them from wandering away wherever they want to. But as most good things in life are, its really tough to do.

Sometimes these temptations take a monstrous form and threaten to ruin everything you have. You detest yourself for being so weak and for hurting many kind souls just because you were not strong enough. At that time you realize how out of control your own self has gone. You can do nothing but brood over it.

All this may sound a bit deviated from the point at which the post started, but observing closely, it is just another dimension to being selfish.

The horror show

Just imagine :-

Its 4 in the morning & you are deep in sleep. The whole house is covered under a sheet of darkness with a small zero watt night bulb spreading some faint green light in the other room.Suddenly one of your room-mates who is sleeping in the same room next to you starts screaming like hell. You have absolutely no idea what’s happening when you see him screaming and running around in the room. You are terrified as if you are in a bad dream when you hear your other room-mate screaming too. A second later you find yourself trying to shout as loud as possible & ask them that what the hell is happening. A moment later the light in the room is switched on and all the three faces in the room are white as a ghost. You try to figure out whats happening when the guy who started screaming first tells you that something is there in the room, most probably a snake, which just went over his right hand and crossed the bed towards the side on which you were sleeping. You don’t know what to say as you are horrified, but still you try to lighten the atmosphere by giggling a bit and furiously checking if really something is there under any of the pillows or mattresses. After 2 minutes of stumbling things here and there it’s finally clear that nothing is there in the room. No one knows what to say as the sudden shock is still getting absorbed.

This was the early morning horror show which happened just two and a half hours back right here in my house. Once the nerves were settled, we decided to switch off the lights again and sleep. Everyone behaved as if it was just a small nightmare and nothing happened. Seeing them lying down quietly on their beds, I thought its only me who is feeling so terrified – still. Finally when I could no longer stand the darkness and the terrible feeling of horror killing me from inside, I announced that now its not possible for me to sleep and I am switching on the lights and going to sit in the other room. It was as if we were just waiting for one among three of us to say that. The next minute we found ourselves sitting in front of the computer and trying to calm ourselves by watching a movie (Jab we met).

I could still feel the chill running down my spine. I was just not able to rise above what has just happened. Suddenly weird things started crossing my mind – how will I sleep in the darkness from tomorrow onwards? – How the hell will I manage alone in the hotel room in Mexico where I would be going in a week from now? – what if really something is there in the house which would suddenly show up once we switch off the lights again? In another half an hour the other two couldn’t bear their heavy heads anymore and retired to the bed with me sitting alone in the other room watching that movie. It was around five in the morning and it was still dark outside. I was waiting for the light to break. I was feeling something very freaky inside me. I just couldn’t stop being afraid – afraid of what I really didn’t know. I decided to pen it down just to extinguish my anxiety and I opened up an empty word document and started writing. As I wrote the first few lines which you can read above, I was practically reliving the entire episode.Once again the fear made its entry and I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I minimized the word window and started watching the movie again. Every 5 minutes I was trying to find a hint of light outside the partially covered window at the back of my room. Finally at 6:20 AM the movie got finished and it was bright outside. I opened the window, opened the front door and decided to finish what I had started.

Its fully bright outside now & both my friends are peacefully sleeping in the other room. But somehow I am not able to get over with it. Just thinking about what happened I can virtually hear that horrific screaming inside my head right now. Goddddd – I do have a weak heart.

18 + 7 = 25 & 25 +1 = 26

I am 26 years young today. 26 long years I have spent from the day I was born; that’s almost half of the total number of years I am probably going to live. Apart from one truth for which I remind myself again and again- I-am-getting-old – there are hundred other things which are crossing my mind today

• What exactly I have done in these 26 years?
• Can I really say that I have “lived” all this time?
• Where do I exactly stand given my past and keeping my future in perspective?

Believe me, I get very interesting (sometimes funny too) answers when I ask these questions from myself. So much has happened in this time that Its hard to believe I really lived through all that. While there are things for which I find myself too young there are still others which have embedded a lot of maturity in me.

At this juncture I just stand still; wondering what’s next. I distinctly remember the day I turned 19. At that time I missed not being 18 anymore. I get more or less the same feeling today – I-miss-being-25 – feeling. 26 somehow sounds a lot more “old”; 25 was a bit respectableJ. I suppose the next time I will get the same feeling, I would be 51.

Anyways, it’s yet another “happy” birthday & everyone except me is excited about it. Maybe all these years have drained out the emotion of “Birthday excitement” from my heart. This day has now started bringing in more worries than happiness. Maybe its momentary or maybe I am just thinking too much. Whatever it is, on this day, 26 years ago, I made my entry and I will make sure that time before the exit will be worth remembering; not only for me but for everyone who is somehow connected to this “26 year old”

Its a lonely world

It is strange. When I was alone I craved for company. I was dying to be among people whom I can call my ‘own’. But once that happened, once I was back, things were not actually that great. You can simply call it human nature to miss what it doesn’t have, but the truth is that I am resenting not being alone anymore. People are much better when they are ‘not’ with you. Once you have all the time in the world to spend with each other, the love and the harmony just vanishes. It doesn’t matter how deadly the separation was, once you are together, things just become plain bland.

I want to be alone again; away from everything else, everyone else. I know it sounds crazy, but I really want to do that. I want to go to some place where none knows me, where I can be myself. No one is stopping me for being myself now also, but the conditions somehow are not allowing me. Lets hope these turbulent thoughts settle down soon.

End of a Legend

Courtesy HT - 12th Jan'08 - Delhi Edtn

I first came to know about him when I was in class 2nd and we were asked to learn by heart, a list of "World's firsts"; the first man to conquer the highest peak on earth, Mt Everest - Sir Edmund Hillary of NewZealand. It was just a name then. But later when I read about him, I was able to put a man behind that name. A man who relentlessly followed his passion till the time he died. A man who left an indelible footprint on the highest point on this earth. A man who will always be remembered through textbooks, record-books and through stories of courage and a rock-hard will.

"We knocked that bastard off", were his words when he scaled the Mt Everest in May 1953. I pay my tribute to the legend. Few people have the courage to follow their dreams, and those who do are remembered by millions, even long after they are gone.

The Small Wonder

After a long hype and much furore, the Tatas have drawn the curtain off the much awaited "Car of the people". The dealer price being Rs 1 Lac, the buyer just has to pay the extra VAT and other taxes. Apart from the standard edition, two more variations will be manufactured, one of them being air-conditioned. Though the critics suspect performance issues and declare it "not-safe", the Tatas have enough facts to dodge the criticisms.
Expected to make the market debu in mid 2008, the "Nano" has already created jitters in the automobile world. It boasts almost all the features of a modern car and is still priced much less than the other "small-car" variants of different companies.

The 'Nano' is expected to intensify the race in the already competitive automobile market of India. Other companies such as Maruti and Hyundai will certainly come up with something matching. After all, if Tatas can do it, so can someone else. In the end, its the consumers who are going to benefit from this bid of the automobile giants to tap the hitherto neglected section of consumers - "the lower middle class". People are having apprehensions regarding the performance and so am I. Remember the time when reliance phones were launched, priced at Rs 500? "Kar lo duniya mutthi mein (Grab the world in ur fist)" . Dhirubhai Ambani's dream to give the cellphone in common man's hand. It started with a band and a much publicized hype, but the bubble burst soon. The boat has steadied a bit now, but soon after it's launch, the issues came to light - bad network, poor connectivity, and a hundred other complaints.

But I prefer be optimistic and hope for the success of this latest "popular" venture of Tata Motors. I hope all goes well and Mr Tata is able to deliver his vision to many of those families, one of which - a family of 4 he saw dangling on a two wheeler and for which he dreamt to provide a much safer a affordable means of personal mobility - gave him the idea for his latest product.

An extra "Phera"

For those of you not informed about the rituals of a "Hindu" marriage, I will provide an introduction to just a small part of it, which is in context with what I am going to write after that.

In a Hindu marriage (you may say North-Indian or Brahmin, because I am not really informed about the rituals in other parts of the country, so excuse me if I am wrong ) during one of the rituals, the Bride and the Groom are supposed to make seven rounds of the holy fire in order to complete the seven important vows of married life. Each round is called a "Phera". So, in all, there are 7 Pheras. Now, let us come back to the topic.

In Alwar, Rajashtan, in all the 800 marriages which took place last month, the couples took 8 Pheras. The extra phera they took was for a noble purpose. The 8th Phera was taken as a vow against sex-determination tests and female foeticide. The trend was encouraged by an NGO and people willingly followed in all the community marriages.

I hope such initiatives will help us increase the ever worsening male to female sex ratio in the country and spread awareness among the people. I wonder why such things never make news.

Death of "Appu Ghar"

I think most of us would have heard about the famous amusement park in Delhi, The Appu Ghar. I first heard about it when I traveled to Delhi for the first time at the age of 6. Then, I was able to catch only a glimpse of it from outside. I never managed to persuade my parents to take me inside. :) I still remember the excitement I felt when I saw it for the first time. The place seemed to be a dream world for me and I just wanted to "live" inside it.

I got my first chance to be there after a long gap of 7 years, when we moved to Delhi. Though I was much older now but the excitement was still young. I spent the whole day inside and quenched my long pending thirst. The place was nice and since my first time, I have been there at least 10 times more.

Today I was reminded of the place again when I read the newspaper. Appu ghar is going to be demolished, following the orders of the Supreme Court. The degradation of the place started when Metro Rail entered Delhi. They occupied a part of the premises for the construction of the Metro corridor. Now, they are taking it fully. The reason - Land is needed for construction of SC's lawyer's chamber and for expansion of Delhi Metro.

Appu ghar is not simply any other amusement park. It is a historical landmark. One of the oldest amusement parks in India. Named after the 1982 Asian games' mascot, it attracts scores of people each year. Most importantly for millions of people like me, it a something to be associated with.

Govt fully supports the court's decision and has not proposed any alternative site for shifting. It seems to be the end of the road for the 'only' and the one of the most 'loved' landmarks of the Indian capital. Maybe this is the price the city has to pay for the increased pace of development.

Asian games of 1982 led to its birth and Commonwealth games of 2010 is going to be the cause of its death, which surely will be a painful one.

Early morning battle

Myself: Dude, the alarm is ringing
Me: What alarm?

Myself: Dude, the alarm is ringing, get up.
Me: Its not even 4 AM, how can the alarm ring at this time?

Myself: Boss, it is past 6AM, get up now, the alarm is ringing.
Me: Duck the alarm. I am so tired. No way I'm gonna get up.

Myself: This alarm sound is deafening right in the morning. How can you still sleep?
Me: Ok, I snoozed the alarm, happy?

(After 2 minutes)
Myself: Sir, the alarm is ringing again.
Me: WTH, can't you talk about anything but the ducking alarm? (Snoozed again)

(After another 2 minutes)
Myself: Alarm ringing !!!
Me: Oh comeon !! (The alarm not snoozed, but "switched off")

Myself: By any chance you remember that you weigh 83 kgs?
Me: What? What are you talking ...?

Myself: By any chance you remember that you have to loose 8 kgs?
Me: Aaaan? mmmmm ...

Myself: You remember how pathetic you look in that tight fit t-shirt?
Me: I look fine ... go away ... let me sleep ... !@$!@$!

Myself: You remember your waist size is a little below 35?
Me: OK !!! Fine .. fine. Don;t give me these depressing thoughts right in the morning.

Finally after a long battle of 15 minutes, I get up ... get dressed and move my lazy a$$ towards the gym.

Where is God hiding?

When God created earth and then life on earth, he created all sorts of creatures; animals, birds, insects, humans and million other forms. All the creatures were satisfied with this fabulous gift God has given them, so they didn't care much and were happy in their environment. They were thankful to God and never cared to go back to him and ask for more. But among them, Humans were an exception. They always kept on troubling God for something or the else. God, I want this. God, I want that. Also among humans, children were the front-runners, as their's were the most number of requests reaching God.

So one day, fed up from all this trouble, God called a meeting of all his counselors. He explained the problem to them and asked for a viable solution. God said,"My dear Counselors, these Humans have made my life hell. I don't get time to do anything, because I am always busy listening to their prayers. I am not even able to sleep peacefully. Please suggest me a place where I can go and hide. A place which will be difficult for these Humans to access."

So, the counselors came up with their suggestions:-
One said, "Go and hide on Mount Everest"
God sighed and replied, "Comeon Boss. Dont you know people like Edmund Hilary and Tensing? They have already conquered Everest. I cannot go there !!"

Another suggested,"You can go and hide on the moon"
Gode puffed and replied,"Hello!! Neil Armstrong has already left his footprint there. So, others may follow soon. Rejected !!!"

Then one of the wisest counselors of God came and whispered something in God's ears. After listening to him, God's face beamed and everyone was surprised to see the happiness on his face. At the same time, they were eager to know the suggestion made by the wise counselor. Once the hype died, God rose to announce the place he was going to reside in. He told:-

"I am going to live in the heart of human beings. That is the safest place. People will be busy searching for me in Churches, Temples, Mosques, Gurdwaras and other places, but they will seldom peep into their own heart to find me. Seldom will they realize that the real place to search for me is their own heart. So I will go and live there"

The male psyche

I came across this survey in today's HT - Delhi edition. It came as a follow up to the ugly incident that happened on 1st Jan with a woman in Mumbai. Though responses to most of the questions depend on one's personal choice, but still there a couple of things I think, if avoided, can obviate most of the troubles. Again, it's only my personal opinion ... yours may differ :)

• A girl, coming out late from a bar, wearing a 'hot' dress, will always invite trouble. In any part of the world, in any society, conservative, open minded, whatever.
• A 'bar-going' woman, at least in Indian middle class society, can never command respect from men. Men will always treat and perceive such women as 'easily accessible'
• Its still time for the Indian society at least, to give 'equality' to women in the 'real' sense. People can preach equality in seminars, social gatherings and even in parliament for women rights, but still we are far away from even "accepting" an equal status for women.
• The male ego still plays a big role in most of the relationships, married or unmarried, & will continue to play till women keep on bowing to it. (Believe me, it still happens in 80% of the cases.)
• Men are the same, everywhere. They think the same 'crap' about women, everywhere. Same injustice happens to women, everywhere. (Read everywhere as India & Mexico)

And obviously, this is not a generalization of any sort. There are exceptions, and actually more than just 'exceptions'. But these are the traits which are prominently visible. Faults are there on both sides, faults in thoughts, traditions, in hundred other things.

Men command & demand a superiority in a relation. It may not be openly visible, but it will raise it's head, in some situation, at some point.

Women consider themselves "emotionally superior". Because they have the unquestionable advantage of being a 'mother'. Of being the creator and preserver of human life.

Anyways, this debate will never end. And all of us will favor one side or the other in different situations. I thought of writing much more, but will stop here. Maybe the rest will come later ;)

Uncertainty

The only thing which is ‘constant’ is ‘change’; they say. Only thing ‘certain’ is ‘uncertainty’ would be a definite corollary; and I am a living witness of that. I have seen so many certainties bubble into a vicious uncertainty that I am no longer certain of my faith in the certainty of anything on this earth being certain. ( [sigh] What on earth made me write the last sentence)

Uncertainty can hit you in various forms. The most popular of all being - “The unexpected uncertainty”. This form is when you are certain that something would happen and suddenly the bubble bursts. All you can do after this is spread your eyes and open your mouth in awe. You can’t believe that something which looked so certain that you actually felt and ‘celebrated’ it’s happening, is no longer there. You curse the reasons and you hate the factors which led to such a painful transition. But, there is nothing else you can do. You have to accept it, with a broken heart and a bruised soul.

The second one, which according to me is a bit less ‘heart rendering’, is “The unknown uncertainty”. This is the case when the outcome of something is unknown or hazy. You have done your bit, but you don’t know what will hit you in return. You are certain of some parts of the result, but in totality, the outcome still evades you. You just wait, as if staring in dark and waiting for something to emerge; something which no one knows. This uncertainty sometimes makes the whole gestation period interesting. All you have with you is a ‘pregnant’ silence or in some cases a ‘pregnant situation’. You never know what will come out.

Human mind has devised a very good cure for all the wounds the heart receives – God. Here are a couple of statements I often hear people saying, when hit hard by uncertainties

• Whatever happens is God’s will.
• Whatever happens; happens for the best.
• God opens two doors when he closes one.

Blah blah blah …

God has done whatever he wanted to. What about the scar the heart will have once the wound is healed by God’s cure? That scar, that pain, and a hidden sense of regret, which we deliberately overlook for some pseudo-happiness, will never ever go.